My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
This baby is an asshole
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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