I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
