I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
