how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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