Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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