i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
