I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
