I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
