Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
