This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
