im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
She said her name was "party"
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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