someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize