i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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