I can't watch pbs sober anymore
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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