No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
