It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
