I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
