i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
