I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Just cropdusted the office
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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