Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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