When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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