You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
