I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But theres a keg here and me gusta
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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