tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
