just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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