on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
