I saw his package. It spoke to me.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
