I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
