Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
