Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
