as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
