So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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