In the future we'll all be gay
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
