Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
