Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize