I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Randomize
