i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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