Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
