He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize