i think my mom watched the whole time
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
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Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
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I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
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