He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
