So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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