There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
