I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize