I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
