he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
