I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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