small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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