whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
