I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize