Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
