I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
